Friday, February 27, 2015

Where is home?

Where is home?

This is not a review. This is a personal post.

Something a little different for me, but I like to sometimes vent a little and post things on more of a personal note. This way I am able to vent and others can also relate and maybe take some positive advice from it.

I have always lived with my Mum and up until I turned 18 I used to go to my Dads every second weekend. I didn't stop going to my Dads every second weekend because I didn't enjoy it, I LOVED it.. I just found it hard to keep visiting when I had work on weekends and a social life.
Dads house was always a good getaway as he lives a minute walk away from the Port Melbourne Beach. I like Port Melbourne as its so relaxing yet so city! But as my Dad lives with his partner and her family, living with him was never an option (wasn't a room for me to live full time).

My Mum was quite gypsy like as I was growing up, I have literally lived in SO many places I could forget. I have been too 3 primary schools & 3 high schools. But from about 13 too currently, I've lived in Melton (eh I know). If you're unaware of the town Melton, heres a description;
A 40 minute drive from the CBD, located on the outer Western Suburbs. Melton is a fast growing 'city' that is the home of many.... uh well, ferals. Im going to put it honestly because thats exactly how I feel. The potential of the town is just fantastic but the people that live here just ruin it all.
To give you a bit of an example of why a lot of locals in Melton are feral I'll tell you some events that have been happening in my town as of lately..
Just last week there were two shootings in Melton; a man shot in the face & another man attempted to shoot someone at the petrol station. Also last week, my house mates car was stolen from the front of our house. Her LOCKED car was stolen... From out the front of our home.
The list of horrible events go on and on and on, and too conclude my thoughts of this town is- I hate it.

About 6 months ago my Mum moved in with her current partner. This meant moving to Inverleigh, a small country town about 20 minutes from Geelong. This also meant I was left to be independent and live with house mates. This was so very new too me but I have adapted fine. It has taught me a lot of life lessons and I'm really thankful for that.
But like I said, I really just hate my location. At times I feel unsafe and everything around me is just so negative. I am a person who cannot live around negative things or negative people, my environment is so very important too me.

Staying at my Mums farm as a little getaway has just be so lovely. I love being surrounded by nature and surrounded with beautiful animals. Staying on Acrege makes me miss the privacy that you get when living on a farm. Not having to listen to your next door neighbours every move and being able to just do whatever you like (also the fact that my car wouldn't get stolen from out the front of the farm).
An the conversation about me possibly moving here has come up. An then I ask myself, would I make the BIG move?

- Boyfriend wouldn't move away from home
- Would not see my boyfriend often as he has commitments back home
- Missing my boyfriend
- Travelling to the city for events could be extremely time consuming
- Leaving my job
- Far from shopping, duh
- Social life

Obviously the main factor is leaving my boyfriend. So all thats on my mind is whats more important? Being happy in my environment or, my relationship.
My relationship means everything too me, but so does my happiness and surroundings.
Ah, my problems..

So my advice to others; 
Follow your heart, sounds corny but so true. Your mind can tell you a thousand things, but the feelings in your heart will never lie. 
Your environment is so very important. If you feel in danger or just really, really unhappy then MOVE. Make a change, even if its a big one. It will truly be worth it and your whole mindset and attitude will change when your happy. 
But what I still can't figure out myself is; Where is home? 
Is it with your family? Is it simply just where you are happy? 

For now I will continue to live when I am currently, but moving will forever be on mind.


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